Not Just His Twin Anymore
by Iheartpiper
Summary: This fanfiction is about A badass version of Harry in which he has a twin who everyone thinks is the boy who lived, or is he? The first four chapters of this Fanfiction were written by ChipmonkOnSpeed, the creator.
1. Prologue

"Dad! Harry cheated! He claims he caught the snitch, but I'm the boy-who lived! I'm better!" Nate Potter whined to his father. James rounded on his oldest, by seven minutes, son.

"Harry! You're supposed to let Nate win!" James roared. "He is the Boy Who lived, and deserves to be treated as such!" Harry Potter scowled.

"Don't fault me because I'm better." Harry scoffed. James turned red.

"Go to your room!" eight year old Harry sneered, and left for the stairs. He knew he was slightly neglected, and he new that Nate shouldn't be treated any different. There was nothing special about his twin, nothing at all.

In his room, Harry turned on his radio. KC and the Sunshine Band were playing 'Play That Funky Music White Boy'.

Harry knew his parents expected him to protect, and bloody worship, Nate, but Harry couldn't find it in his heart to even like the kid. He was stuck up, spoiled, snotty, ignorant, and the list goes on and on.

Harry had his own house elf, Nate had two. Harry had a queen size bed, Nate had a king, even thought Harry was twice Nates size. Harry was taken shopping twice a year, Nate went twice a month. Harry was really starting to despise his life.

Harry decided that he was going to beat his brother, even if it killed him. He would make a name for himself at Hogwarts, no matter what. Nate would be stuck in his shadow for the first time. Yes, Hogwarts was going to be fun.

Anyone in the room, who had bothered to look, would have seen Harry's smirk, and the evil gleam that entered his eye.

Just three more years.

The long awaited eleventh birthday came, same as every year, with a few differences. Hogwarts letters. Harry rolled his eyes at the big fuss that the Potter parents were making at Nates letter.

"Oh My God! I got one too! So did fifty other kids in the country!" Harry sneered. There was so much sarcasm in the comment, it was amazing Harry didn't choke on it. The rest of his family glared at him. "What? It was just an observation! A very _correct _observation. You _knew_ it was coming, and today. I don't see the big deal. I'll be in my room." Harry snapped, taking the stairs three at a time.


	2. Unworthy

That was entirely too confusing.

Disclaimer: I don't own it.I wishI did. Maybe... nope, still don't own Harry Potter.

September the first couldn't come fast enough for Harry. Nate made a big scene about saying goodbye to his parents, while Harry simply got on the train.

Finding an empty compartment, Harry sat down. Not two minutes later, a tall boy with red hair and freckles entered.

"Hello! Whoa! Are you Nate Potter?" the boy asked. He was obviously a Weasley.

"No." Harry said flatly. "I'm Harry Potter."

"Awesome! What's it like having a famous brother?" the Weasley asked.

"Do you have any brothers?" Harry asked, knowing the answer.

"Five!" He said.

"Then it's about the same." Harry said coldly. "What's your name?"

"Ron. Ron Weasley." He said.

"Oh." Harry said lazily. "My brother should be in the next compartment." Harry offered.

"Cool! Bye than!" And thus, Harry was left to himself. He had already read all the books for first year, just to make sure he would be better than his brother. He was going to prove himself, and to do that, he had to be different. Different is what he would be.

Harry took off his glamour charm, revealing his lightning bolt shaped scar, an skull and crossbones earring in his left ear, and it also revealed the odd symbol that had appeared on the back of his neck two years ago.

It looked like a backward 'S'. Harry had no idea what that meant, but was determined to find out.

The trained stopped some hours later. Harry got off with the other first years, and got on the wimpy little boats. Nate complained loudly about the boats going to slow.

"So jump off and swim!" Harry yelled. "Oh! That's right, you can't!" Harry said coldly. Nate glared at him, but stopped talking.

In the Entrance Hall, Harry gazed around, not remotely impressed. There wasn't much to look at, anyway. A strict looking woman came in and led them into the Great Hall.

Most of the other first years happily exclaimed at the sheer size of the place. Harry didn't. It was smaller than his wing at Potter Manor. Yes, he had claimed the east wing of the entire place. He knocked out all the walls, upsetting a few portraits. In his one giant room, a third was his bedroom, a third his kitchen, and the other third was made for training.

Harry trained everyday. Not always with magic, but strength, endurance, and martial arts. That would be why Harry had so much muscle. He could have passed for a fifth year.

As names were starting to be called, Harry didn't even get nervous. He knew where he was going, and he was happy with that.

Draco Malfoy kept giving him odd looks. "What?" Harry snapped. The Malfoy heir just kept looking at him.

"You're powerful." the blonde said simply. "Very, very powerful. With enough training, you'll be more powerful than Albus Dumbledore." Harry raised one thin, black eyebrow.

"Excuse me?" Harry said politely.

"You heard me." Malfoy hissed. "The air around you is literally snapping with your power. I can sense these things, I know. Right now, you're more powerful than my father." Draco said. Harry smirked.

"From what I've heard, Malfoy, your father is pretty…" Harry hesitated for a second, and Draco leaned forward a little. "…cool." He finished, with a smirk. Draco extended his hand. Harry took it.

"Malfoy, Draco!" the stern looking witch called.

"Well, I'm off. " the hat barely touched Dracos head.

"SLYTHERIN!" the old hat yelled. Draco smirked, and took proud strides to the Slytherin table.

"Potter, Harry!" The witch yelled. everybody in the hall went silent. Then whispers erupted with the force of a hurricane. Harry started walking towards the witch, but was stopped by three people ahead of him. Ron Weasley, Nate Potter, and a boy Harry knew to be Seamus Finnigan.

"Excuse me." Harry said. They ignored him. "Excuse me." Harry repeated. None of them moved. "Excuse me." Harry said louder. Getting angry, Harry threw both his hands in the air, with a lazy movement. The three boys rose into the air, at least fifteen feet. They started screaming. Harry stepped forward five feet, and carefully lowered them to the ground. "Next time, _move_ when I say move." Harry hissed. There was a horrified, shocked silence. "Yes?" Harry sneered.

Many jaws dropped. Harry noted, happily that the sorting hat never touched his head.

"SLYTHERIN!" it yelled. Cries of outrage could be heard from Nate potter.

"Traitor!" Nate screamed. Harry stopped, halfway to his seat, and smirked.

"Traitor? First of all, I would have to have been on your side at one point, to cause treachery. Which, by the way, I never have been. You just have the annoying habit of believing everybody adores the ground you walk on. You are a sheltered, spoiled, arrogant, prick. Man! I have wanted to say that for years." Harry continued to sit next to Draco.

"I bet your brother got a warm fuzzy feeling when he heard you say that." Draco muttered. Harry smirked.

"I aim to please." Harry muttered. Food appeared on the table. "What the hell is this crap?" Harry said, a little too loud.

"You're having the same thoughts as me?" Draco asked. "This looks like it's still alive. Ewe, it is. It just moved. No. I'm not hungry anymore." Draco turned a light green.

"Nah, man, I'm starving. This is easy. Just conjure something." Harry said, as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

"You're bloody mad," Draco growled, "if you think I could do a sixth year transfiguration." A few other people from Slytherin were watching with interest. "it's not even transfiguration, as you're not transfiguring!"

"Yes, you are. You transfigure air into another substance. So, in ignorant terms, you take _nothing_, and make it something. Come on, I learned this when I was six." Harry said. Draco dropped his fork, and his jaw. The resulting noise silenced a few more surrounding Slytherins.

"That's ten years before they teach it here!" Draco exclaimed, in a high pitched, tight, voice. "How the bloody hell do you know sixth year stuff?" Dracos voice was getting louder with each word. "We've been here for an hour, and you're trying to explain to me how easy conjuration is? Are you bloody mad? Do it, then. Conjure something." Draco ordered.

"What do you want?" Harry asked.

"Conjure me… a steak, ribs, mashed potatoes, a silver plate, and a bottle of whiskey." Draco said, in a challenging tone. Harry waved a hand, and it all appeared on the table. "Bloody hell!" Draco screamed. "Use a wand, for Merlin's sake! Bloody hell, bloody hell, bloody hell…" Draco chanted. Most of the hall was silent now.

"I'm sorry, did you want the steak to be rare, or well done?" Harry asked, bored.

"Bloody hell, bloody hell, oh, well done, bloody hell! I told you that you are bloody powerful. But I never expected you to dish out a three course meal, and," Draco held up the bottle of whiskey, "aged _goblin_ made whiskey! I don't know anybody that can conjure _that_!"

"Oh! I didn't exactly conjure that. I more like… replicated it. I have some in my wing at the Manor. Goblins really are very friendly. Any who, I got that from memory. It's not that complicated, really. All you have to do is think of something you've seen and try to make it reappear. It's almost like a summoning charm, which are ridiculously easy, but it doesn't move the object, just makes another one reappear in another place. Are you with me here?" Harry asked.

"Potter, you lost _me_ halfway through that." A seventh year Ravenclaw said from the next table. Harry turned around to see everybody in the hall looking at him.

"What _are _they teaching here? It is so very simple, I learned this when I was five. Listen, you make a copy of the object you want, and instantly summon it to wherever you are. Salazar had a much better explanation for this than I do, but-"

"Salazar? As is Salazar Slytherin?" Draco interrupted.

"Yeah, him. He was on top of things, then. Brilliant, but a bit mad. Paranoid to the point of insanity, but he had a mind like Ravenclaw. Then he cut most of his fingers off, but I'm getting off subject." Harry said.

"So what's the incantation for that?" Draco asked.

"I don't know. Slytherin never used incantations, for anything. I told you, he was paranoid. His writings explained the theories and logic. But, to do anything, you have to have a strong grasp on nonverbal and wandless magic." Harry said.

"Damn!" Draco said. "WAIT! Where did you get anything from Salazar Slytherin?"

"Didn't I mention that I am very, very close to the goblins?" Harry asked.

"Yes but- oh Merlin! They let you into his vault!" Draco screamed.

"Yes. I have seen the Malfoy vault. Slightly lacking, if you ask me." Harry said, sarcastically. "Jeez, you could reconstruct Malfoy manor in there." Harry said. Then Harry smirked. "My personal vault is bigger, though."

"Is not!" Draco gasped.

"I have money being held there under seven different names. I have stocks in most Wizarding businesses, and I am on of the main consultants for three companies." Harry said.

"Which companies?" Draco asked. The noise in the hall had come back, but people kept throwing Harry odd looks.

"Zonkos, Honeydukes, and the United Racing Broom Organization. That whole thing was pretty damn hard, considering I was never allowed to leave the house. But, the house was big enough that I pulled it off." Draco leaned forward a bit.

"You do know that your brother is flicking peas at you, right?" the boy asked.

"Yes. Just wait a second." Harry muttered.

"Potter! Stop throwing food!" Snape snapped from the staff table. Nate Potter turned red.

"Do you listen to music, Draco?" Harry asked.

"Not really. Why?" Draco asked. Music was not a big, or small, part of pureblood society.

"You should listen to simple plan. They're Muggles, but some of they're songs are awesome. 'Me Against the World', 'Welcome to My Life', and 'Perfect.' And you, my friend, look like you could use some 'everybody is out to get me, fuck the world' kind of music. What do you say?" Harry asked.

"Me Against the World? What is that?" Draco asked.

"It's a hella good song. It basically says 'we're not going to be followers, I'll show you who the fuck is runnin this shit.' You know. That kind of stuff. I can do it on my guitar, and it took me hell of long to do." Harry said.

That night, after the feast, Draco Malfoy heard his first Simple Plan song, and loved it. He especially liked 'Perfect,' as it related to his life so well.

The next morning, at breakfast, Harry was building a replica of the English Quidditch stadium, using pancakes.

"That is very mature, Potter. Oh look, and olive bludger. And what's this? A golden snitch made out of a little piece of cheese?" Draco sneered.

"Shh! Watch!" Harry tapped the whole model with his wand, and the players actually started playing. One player fell off his broom, and ketchup squirted all over the bottom of the plate, representing blood. Dracos jaw dropped.

"You're joking. You actually made that _work_ like a real model?"

"Of course! What would be the bloody point otherwise?" Harry asked. A red envelope dropped in front of him. "This will be amusing."

"_**HARRY JAMES POTTER! HOW DARE YOU GET INTO SLYTHERIN? NO POTTER HAS EVER BEEN A FILTHY SNAKE! YOU DEMAND A RESORTING, OR YOU CAN JUST FORGET ABOUT COMING HOME THIS CHRISTMAS! WHAT A DISGRACE! I DO NOT WANT AN EVIL, FILTHY, DARK, DANGEROUS PERSON RUINING MY **_**PERFECT**_** FAMILY TREE! WE CERTAINLY DIDN'T RAISE YOU TO BE EVIL**__!"_

All of Gryffindor was laughing, but stopped when Harry was laughing just as hard. "Man! They think threatening me with not spending another wonderful Christmas watching Nate open presents is real motivation? I could claim them both negligent, and take their goddamn house as my own. But, I wouldn't do that. Potter manor is way too cramped for me." Harry smirked. "Wonder what they'll say when they find out I can talk to snakes?"

"You can?" Draco gasped. "That's awesome!"

"First year schedules!" Snape barked. He walked up behind Harry. "Potter, see me in my office after classes today." And he handed Harry his schedule.

"Yes, sir." Harry said, looking at his classes. Double potions with Gryffindor first thing. Hoorah. "Oh, Draco, I have something for you. It's called an Ipod. You can store hundreds of songs on them. There is already over six hundred on this one. Almost all of Simple Plans songs are on there." Harry spent the next five minutes explaining it to Draco.

"HA! I love this song. _I am American bad ass, you can roll with Rock or you can suck my dick, I'm a porno flick, like amazing grace, I'm gunna fuck some hoes after I rock this place!_" Draco sang. Harry laughed. Draco was a pretty good singer. They were getting glares from Gryffindors. "By the way, Harry, I think the ruddy bird wants a reply."

"You want a reply, eh? Alright, take this one." Harry took a blank parchment out of his bag. He muttered a charm at it, and attached it to the owls leg. The owl flew off.

"Ok, what was that, Harry?" Draco asked.

"Howler. Only it will sing, instead of yell." Harry smirked. There was aloud yelling sound, but then, it wasn't yelling, it was singing. "Shit, he's closer than I thought." Harry said.

"_**Hey, Dad, look at me. Think back and talk to me. Did I grow up according to plan? And do you think I'm wasting my time, doing things I want to do, but it hurts when you disapprove all along. And now I try to make it I just want to make you proud. I'm never gunna be good enough for you, cant pretend that I'm all right and you cant change me, 'cuz we lost it all, nothing lasts forever I'm sorry I cant be perfect now its just to late and we cant go back I'm sorry I cant be perfect. I try not to think about the pain I feel inside did you know you used to be my hero. All the days you spent with me now seem so far away and it seems like you don't care anymore. Now I try hard to make it I just want to make you proud. Now it's just to late and we can't go back, I'm sorry I can't be perfect. Nothings gunna change the things that you said and nothing gunna make this right again**__._" The noise got louder with every word, until the doors to the castle opened. James Potter walked into the Great Hall, looking very angry. Harry stood up and tried to go to his first class.

"Stop, you traitor!" James barked.

"Wormtail?" Harry asked innocently. "Where? Ah, there he is, with the weasel boy!" Harry said. "_Accio Peter Pettigrew_." Harry yelled, only so people know what he had said. Scabbers the rat came flying towards him. Harry said an animagus revealing charm, and the lumpy form of Peter Pettigrew skid to a halt at his feet. "you have fun with that, Father. I have potions now. Cheerio." Harry said, walking into the dungeons like he owned the place. He pushed a few slow moving Hufflepuffs out of the Entrance Hall first, of course. "Out of my way, shit heads." Harry muttered, not loud enough for any staff to hear.

Potions had always been Harry's' favorite subject. He had Studied them like they were going out of style. He knew so many things, as he had studied the works of the most brilliant potions masters in the last three thousand years. All of them. Harry took a seat next to Draco. Snape basically stampeded into the room, glaring at the Gryffindors.

"In this class, you will be learning how to brew potions. I expect you to pay attention, and not fool around. Any cauldron blowing up will result in both point loss and detention. Today we are making a boil cure. This is a ridiculously easy potion, and I expect nothing less that perfection. Begin." Snape barked. He began swooping through the classroom, insulting Gryffindors, and complimenting Slytherins.

"No disrespect intended, sir, but why exactly are you using this cure?" Harry asked. Snape turned to look at him.

"And why, Potter, does it matter?" Snape said in a low menacing voice. Harry wasn't fazed at all.

"Because, sir, there is a more efficient, less time consuming one able to be made. It was discovered five years ago by an anonymous person in Bangladesh." Harry said. Severus raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know this, Potter?" he asked.

"I read. A lot." Harry replied.

"About potions?" Snape asked.

"Mostly only potions, yes, sir." Harry said. "Although, that was a rather hard task, as both of my ignorant parents despise potions." Snape got as close to a smile as he ever would.

"yes, of course, Mr. Potter. You can brew that potion, if you wish. Purely out of curiosity, what other potions have you brewed?" the potions master asked. Harry thought for a second.

"Pain relievers, anti bacterial, bone healers, drought of the living death, film developing potions, skele-grow, pepper up, fever reducers, vision correctors, and then we get into the less legal ones. Bone melters, skin eaters, pain inducers, nightmare enhancers, vomit inducing potions, mild hallucinogens (which immediately went into Nates cereal,) and veritaserum." listed Harry. Snape raised an eyebrow.

"Veritaserum? At your age?"

"Eight." Harry corrected. "I started brewing potions as soon as I could read. I was three and a half. This, actually, was the fist potion I brewed. If I could do it at three, I hope that any child of eleven could do it." Just then, Nate Potters cauldron blew up. "Of course, one must have the _maturity_ to brew a proper potion." Harry continued, as if nothing had happened. "Then again, one must have the utter brain power to read the instructions that are written on the chalkboard, where it clearly states let the potion simmer for five minutes before taking it off the flame and adding the crushed cricket." Harry said, in a very superior tone.

"Fifty points to Slytherin, Mr. Potter. Fifty points from Gryffindor, Potter." Snape snapped to Nate. The almighty boy who lived glared at the Slytherins.

"What was that, Professor? I couldn't hear you, as I was concentrating very hard on my potion brewing." Harry said.

"I said fifty points to Slytherin, and fifty points from Gryffindor… very clever, Mr. Potter." Snape said, catching on. Harry had gotten double points to Slytherin, and double points taken from Gryffindor. Even though there was no reason, Snape had said it twice.

"why, professor, I don't think I know what you mean. Now, did you say fifty points from Gryffindor, or seventy? I haven't quite been able to hear well, since the charms accident of eighty eight."

"It was fifty points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter." Snape smirked. One hundred and fifty points from Gryffindor in one class. Snape thought that Harry might just be his new favorite student. It was sure that the boy had the brain, sly, and cunning of the best Slytherin.

"That's not fair!" some Gryffindors shouted. They silenced at Snapes glare.

"Now, class, we can not inconvenience the hearing impaired, now can we?" Snape asked, in a deadly smooth voice. Harry had officially made an enemy out the entire Gryffindor house.

Lunch came quickly. Nate was still glaring at the Slytherins, who all smirked back. McGonagall seemed to have noticed Gryffindor was one hundred points in negative numbers. "Severus Tobias Snape! YOU WILL EXPLAIN THIS RIGHT NOW!" she yelled, marching into the hall. Harry smirked openly at the Gryffindors.

"Well, Minerva, it seems potter thought it would be funny to blow up his cauldron." Snape said smoothly. The deputy headmistress looked towards Harry. "No. Not that one. Harry has the competence to brew very complex potions. It was the supposed boy who lived. Of course, Harry asked me to clarify how many points had been taken, and I had to repeat myself a few times to be heard over the Gryffindors whining. By the end, I had to take two hundred points away from the noble house of Godric. Oddly enough, my house received three hundred points, just from Harry." Snape said.

McGonagall spun around to glare at harry, who smirked. "And why, Severus, did he get three hundred points?" she hissed.

"Well, professor, Wolfsbane is rather hard to brew." Harry answered. "Credit is given when credit is due. I actually shortened the process by twenty minutes. And, quite possibly, I can have the full cure for lycanthrope within five years." Harry said. "And what was the last interesting thing a Gryffindor did? Ah! Yes. The famous Peter Pettigrew disappearance. That can't give Gryffindor a good name. Too bad they have no dignity what so ever, or the world may just be a better place to live." Harry smirked.

Draco broke the silence by releasing a very un-Slytherin snort. "That's an understatement." The stern witch didn't seem to be able to come up with anything to say, so she stormed out of the hall in a huff, leaving the Slytherins victorious. "That's one to Slytherin, Gryffindor- nothing."

The next day, McGonagall stormed into the hall, looking ready to spit fire. Music was following her, and it was Rick James singing 'She's a brick House.' The transfiguration teacher was not happy.

"Who did this?" she yelled, turning red.

"_**She makes an old man wish for younger days. She's knows she's built and knows how to please, sure enough to knock a strong man to his knees**_." The air around her sang.

"You know, professor, that song does suit you." Nate said.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor, Potter!" McGonagall snapped. All of Gryffindor glared at the boy-who-lived. He had lost two hundred points for his house in two days. Nate glared at Harry, who was twirling his wan between his fingers. Harry raised an eyebrow, as if to challenge Nate.

"Honestly, Nate, what do you think you could do to me?" Harry called. "You have the intelligence of a lab rat. The one they always feed the poisonous potions, just to see if they work. Of course, I did do that to you on occasion. Ok, daily." Harry said with a smirk. Draco snorted again.

"Harry, we should write a book about your life. We can title it 'Welcome to my Life.' That would be cool." Draco said. Both boys stood up, walking to transfiguration.

"_**Do you ever feel like breakin' down, do you ever feel out of place like some how you just don't belong and none understands you. Do you ever wanna' run away, do you lock yourself in your room with the radio on turned up so loud that no one hears you screamin'? No you don't know what its like when nothing feels all right you don't know what its like to be like me. To be hurt to feel lost to be left out on the dark, do to kicked when your down to feel like you've been pushed around to be on the edge of breaking down, and no one's there to save you. No you don't know what it's like, welcome to my life. No one ever lied straight your face no one ever stabbed you in the back you might think I'm happy but I'm not gunna be ok. You never had to work it was always there. You don't know what its like, what its like**_…" They sang. Nate stood up and threw a hard boiled egg at them. Harry caught it, and proceeded to eat it.

"We were right, Draco. The Slytherins do get better food." They laughed all the way to their next class. "Of course, I did bribe the house elves…" was the last thing they heard Harry say.

"I thought the food was better this year." A seventh year Slytherin said, smirking. "I will have to remember to thank Harry for t his one. Oh! Professor Snape! I had to ask you about this years Quidditch team. It seems I have found talent to rival Lynch of Ireland." The boy said, his smirk becoming more of a wild, evil, crazed, twisted smile, that only a Slytherin could pull off. "Harry Potter has more talent that any seventh year. No offence, Terrence." The current seeker for Slytherin was too busy to notice anything. He was staring at a Ravenclaw sixth year.

"Come with my, flint." Snape said, sweeping from the hall. He made his way down the winding path to his office. He sat the captain down, and ordered him to explain.

"This isn't coming from me, sir. Harry was sneaking out last night, well, not sneaking out, he sort of strode out like he owned the place, and he was flying on the pitch. I've never witnessed anything like it. He did suicidal dives that no professional would have attempted. It was not first year stuff, sir. I wish to request he take the seeker spot on the Slytherin team." Flint said.

"I will need to see him fly, Flint." Snape said. The sixth year boys eyes lit up like fireworks.

"He's amazing! Bloody brilliant! I have never seen that kind of talent!" Flint exclaimed. Severus raised an eyebrow.

"Well then, we should go see him now, shouldn't we?" He said smoothly. He stood and strode out of his office, all the way to the first year transfiguration class. It was Gryffindor and Slytherin.

"Potter!" he bellowed. "Follow me, now!" Harry stood up immediately and followed him, muttering about crazy transfiguration teachers and their addiction to useless wands. "Not a fan of wands, Potter?"

"Bloody useless pieces of wood. There is no bloody point to them! I can focus my magic just fine, thank you very much. I can hit a fly with a curse at a hundred yards.

Severus watched Harry fly, and demanded that the boy take a place on the Slytherin team. Harry accepted.

The next day at breakfast, Harry received a letter from the ministry of magic, stated that he was being watched for dark magic, and he was basically on probation until he proved he was not the next dark lord. They had raided him wing at his house, and taken all his stuff. Harry was not a material person, but you fuck with a mans house, you fuck with the man.

Harry was filled with such a rage that he glowed pure white. His eyes went from green, to emerald, to red, then black, and finally gold. All the windows in the Great Hall shattered, spraying glass everywhere. The entire castle shook violently. The sky went from bright and sunny to dark and thunderous. Harry stood up, and was instantly beside his twin.

"I'm the traitor, Nate?" Harry said in a deceptively soft voice. "listen, Nate, one of these days you are going to need me. You will find yourself at the feet of Voldemort, and you won't know what to do, because you are a pathetic, snot nosed, inconsiderate, little wimp. We may be the same age, but I have a grasp on magic that your simple mind couldn't comprehend. I know enough to keep myself alive, and that is more than we can say for you.

"You are vastly lacking in magical ability. I am shocked that people can still claim that you stopped Voldemort. Especially when you flinch whenever his name is said, imbecile. You are going to right to the minister, and tell him you want to take back your claim, or I will make your life a living hell from this day forward." Harry hissed.

"No. I know that you're going to be the next dark lord. And I'm going to stop you." Nate said triumphantly.

"you couldn't stop even the weakest dark wizard. If you could, Quirrel would not be in the room right now. You see, Nate, Slytherins are far more observant than you rash Gryffindors. Have you ever noticed that he stutters abnormally a lot? As if he feared someone was going to kill him? And how he constantly leaves in the middle of class, always coming back with his turban wrapped differently? Of course, the Gryffindor wonder boy would have noticed the aura of darkness that hangs around him. More specifically, the back o his head." Harry said.

"Very good, Potter." Quirrel said, walking towards the entrance hall. "I expected to last much longer than three days. Of course, we never dreamed that we would run into a child as observant and cunning as you." A voice, cold as ice, came from nowhere.

"Harry Potter. As it seems, you just can't stop interfering, can you?" Quirrel was still trying to leave, but Harry had an idea. He raised his hand and said a simple charm. Hundreds of wild roses surrounded the defense against the dark arts teacher. "Don't move, you imbecile!"

"Aha! I thought so. I'm never wrong. So, Quirrel, what kind of negative energy are you housing within you? I ask purely to keep our audience up to date. Show yourself, Voldemort." Harry demanded. His tone was cold and angry. Ice and fire.

"You are a quick one, Harry. Not even Albus Dumbledore noticed. Or he did, and just didn't say anything." The cold high voice said.

"Bullshit, he knew." Harry said. He dropped Nate, and started walking towards Quirrel. "I said show yourself, and I meant now." Harry growled. Quirrel started unwrapping his turban, making a few people at the Slytherin table turn around. Harry had reached Quirrel, and grabbed him by the throat. He turned Quirrel, so that the back of the mans head faced Nate. "Say hello, Natey."

"Ah, Nate Potter. The one they are saying defeated me. Ah, how lives had fed your legend, Nate." Voldemort said, in a cold, mocking voice.

"Harry! Get that thing away from here!" Nate screamed.

"Well, as you are the almighty boy who lived, go fuck a fan girl." Harry snapped. "Now, as I don't want Quirrel to kill one of my friends, I will rid of him. Any last words, Tommie?" Harry asked.

"There is no good and evil, there is only power, and those too weak to seek it. And don't call me Tommie-"

"Times up!" Harry threw Quirrel over the pile of roses, and both heads let out a shrill, inhuman scream. "Ow. That was loud. You'd think that the Dark Lord Voldemort would have a little bit less of a girly scream, wouldn't you? Actually, I've heard woman scream in a more masculine tone than that." Harry laughed and sat down at the Slytherin table. "Draco, do you have a quill on you?" Harry said brightly.

"Why do you want a quill?" Draco asked, afraid of the answer.

"To threaten the minister with an awful, painful death if he does not leave me the fuck alone." Harry said, in that same, overly bright, happy tone. "Got a quill?"

"for that purpose, I have a very rare, very expensive, self inking, bald eagle tail feather quill. Give him hell." Draco said, handing over the large quill. Harry smirked. "Oh my, is that going to be a howler?"

"No. Harry Potter doesn't do howlers. This is way more intimidating. I think poor Fudge will find himself horribly distracted until he complies with my demands. _Crucio!_" Harry said the curse with suck malice that even Draco flinched. "Don't worry, Draco. The curse is much less effective if sent through the mail. Trust me, I know. It can't even be considered illegal. But sending an unforgivable is extremely hard. The killing curse is the only one I haven't mastered through the mail." Harry smirked again.

"Wait! That was a very Slytherin thing to say!" Draco announced. "So, what have you mastered it with?"

"The biggest thing I've ever killed with that curse was an elephant." Harry stated. "I have a friend in Africa. He invited my hunting a few years ago. His name is-"

"Rafiki!" a voice called from the Entrance Hall.

"Yer' shittin me." Harry muttered. "Prince Rafiki, right now." Harry said. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?" Harry asked. A tallish boy, with short blue hair, a pierced nose, fiery gold eyes, and a distinct Egyptian look came into view.

"I was held up at the magical council. I was supposed to start here this year. My Father was supposed to send an owl." Rafiki said. "Incompetent fool, isn't smart enough to do such a simple task, let alone run a country. That bloody fool is going to be the end of our reign as kings. I know it. As the ever so dearly departed just informed us, there is no good an evil, there is only power, and those too weak to seek it. My mamma didn't raise no fool. I see money, and say hand it the hell over." Rafiki said.

"Ah, this is the next generation of organized crime in our country." Harry pretended to wipe a tear. "They grow up so damn fast. It seems only yesterday I watched him execute the criminals with a sword. The sword I let him borrow and he never bloody returned." Harrys voice turned cold.

"Oh I have that, actually!" Rafiki reached into one of his many pockets, and pulled out the long, still blood coated, sword. "Sorry, forgot to clean it. Running a country is very time consuming!" the Prince said defensively.

"Isn't that why you are the prince, and not the king?" Draco asked.

"Well, duh! But I have it on good authority that the current king is sure to kick the bucket soon. Right, Mufasa?" Rafiki smirked.

"Now that I have one of my favorite swords back, yeah, I still am a good authority. This summer, perhaps?" Harry asked. Rafiki bowed deeply.

"It would be my honor to accommodate the 'Great and powerful Chai clan warrior'." Rafiki mocked. "as long as you get it done after my twelfth birthday, and I will give you half of the magical world."

"It will be an honor." Harry smirked. "How do you like Hogwarts, Tut-to-Be?

"Will you not call me that? I am Prince Rafiki. I will be Tutankhaman when you behead the current King. My first born son will become Prince Rafiki. You understand this, right?" Rafiki mocked.

"I also know that I am Prince Mufasa. If you have no offspring, I become King after your, shall we say, unfortunate, and untimely death." Harry said. Rafiki nodded.

"Sup, Scar?" Rafiki asked.

"Not much, Zazoo." Harry replied. He walked over and pulled his best mate into a handshake/hug. "I think we're confusing the hell out of these poor people with all the names we use, though."

"Ah, how very rude. I never introduced myself. I am Rafiki, Prince of all Magical places on the Western hemisphere."

"Currently working on the other hemispheres, too." Harry muttered.

"Not working on. We have them in our hands down the very last minister. When I become king, I will, unquestionably, rule the entire Wizarding world. I can't wait!" most people would think that Rafiki was this giddy over the thought of ruling the entire Wizarding world. Harry knew that wasn't true. The one thing Rafiki wanted most was the death of the current King. "Honored Assassin, I must speak with you in regards to the execution of the King Tutankhaman. But for now, Bitch, take me to your leader. I do not promise that I come in piece, either."

"You have mood swings worse than a woman, you know. And I fear that you may soon have a serious identity crisis. Next time, tell me when you're going to go three different ways in one breath. Maybe then I'll brink a pencil and paper, to have you right it all down. Merlin knows it's good to have some idea of whatever the hell you just said." Harry growled.

"I said, asshole, that I need to speak to the headmaster of this run down shack, and after that, I need to make arrangements for my fathers _**death**_!" Rafiki spat. Then he got a mass murderer type smile. "The death that you have been charged with making happen."

"Murderer!" Nate yelled. An enraged Rafiki turned on the boy-who-lived.

"Tell me, were you formally addressed? Or given permission to speak to my assassin? Hell fucking no, bitch. Now you sit down and shut up, before I go over there and do it for you." Rafiki demanded. Nate sneered. "Harry, I'll give you five million galleons to kick the shit out of him."

"Done." Harry said instantly. He stood up and, in less than a second had Nate by the neck. "Nothing personal, you know. Business is business. Five million galleons? You can bet your bottom dollar that I would go as far as to kill for that money."

"Rot in hell." Nate said.

"I've been to Hell. It's rather humid, though. I have friends there. Demons, you know. I met Grindewald. Nice man, actually. But you can see the hate and rage when you peer into his eyes. Just as clearly as you can see the fear in your eyes. I will give you one more chance, before I beat the living hell out of you." Harry said, in a deadly calm voice. His eyes burned with a fiery fury that scared the hell out of Nate, who didn't need it beaten out of him.

"Mr. Potter!" McGonagall snapped, not at all pleased that the worlds savior was being dangled three inches in the air, by his throat. "Put Mr. Potter down, right now!"

"Excuse me, woman, I'm waiting for an apology!" Harry snapped right back. She began to speak again, but Harry stopped her. "Eh no! I'm busy. Leave a message after the mother fucking beep. You, Nathaniel Potter, are my younger brother. At the age of three, I made an unbreakable vow to protect you, and help you through the war. But you make one more dumb ass comment, and I will remove the vow from us, and throw you into the fiery pits of hell. You will show Prince Rafiki respect, as if he were Esmerillion him-fucking-self. He is my bet friend, and you don't fucking disrespect the best friend of the heir of your family, Nate. Good day, bitch." Harry dropped his twin, for the second time that day. A curse hit him in the back as he turned. Harry, of course, had let it hit him.

"Oh, shit!" Draco yelled. "You're going to be talking with song lyrics for a week!" Rafiki smiled.

"That curse is a nuisance. You do know what it does, right, Scar?" Rafiki asked.

"Shut up." Harry snapped.

"This is too good." Draco laughed. "All you can say is lyrics from songs."

"Thank you." Harry sneered.

"We really could take advantage of this one, Draco." Rafiki smirked.

"I'll beat yo' ass, muthah fuckah." Harry replied. Giving up, he used sign language with Rafiki. He signed, 'This is dumbass stupid. Did you see where the curse came from?"

"The red headed boys with the evil grins. Really, they can't even hide their own guilt." Rafiki answered. "Blood traitors that they are…"

"The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire, we don't need no water, let the mother fucker burn, burn mother fucker, burn!" Harry chanted. The lyrical curse was sent as the Weasley twins, causing their hair to go neon, glow in the dark red.

"Ah, it will be a bit hard to sneak around with hair like that." Draco said.

"Draco, the words were a cover. Harry don't need no fucked up words giving away what he's about to be doing. High Mages don't use silly wands. Shit, Harry's going to kill me." Rafiki said, looking into the now cold eyes of his best friend.

"With the radio on turned up so loud that no one hears you screaming." Harry answered.

"Sadly, I am now officially afraid of my designated bodyguard." Rafiki said.

"He apparated in Hogwarts!" a bushy haired Gryffindor girl gasped.

"No, he didn't. Harry simply manipulated the magic around him to move him through the magical currents."

"That simple, eh?" Draco said, in a mock unconcerned voice. "Who came up with that brilliantly dangerous mode of transportation?" Harry started signing furiously, sitting down.

"Jacob Malfoy, almost nine hundred years ago. He never mastered the fine art of apparation, and out of embarrassment, decided to invent a transportation that only he himself could do. The only people that can do it must be very powerful, and must have read the carefully written instructions in Jacob left in the Malfoy vault." Rafiki took a deep breath, and looked at Harry. "man, if you sign any faster your hands will explode. How's your back?" Rafiki asked suddenly.

"I will survive." Harry said. He was thinking hard, now, trying to figure out how to say what he wanted. "it's hard to say it, time to say it, goodbye, goodbye." Harry hoped that the prince got the message.

"

Oh! Right! I have a meeting with the headmaster! Come on, Scar, there ain't a snowballs chance in hell I'm going near that manipulative bastard without you there to suffer too."

"A mans greatest treasure is wit beyond measure." Harry advised nobly.

"Right, Harry, I'll remember that. Do you want to walk?" Rafiki asked. Harry shook his head, frantically, no. "Alrighty then. But don't go so damn fast! I threw up last time. Yes, I know you would remember, as you had to get new basilisk hide boots. Don't remind me." Harry smirked, knowing he had been about to do that, and grabbed his friends forearms tightly.

"I'm knocken heads off, I'm the baddest of them all." Rafiki understood. "I get richer and there ain't no pity." In other words, Harry was trying to tell Rafiki to not go all kind, as that would get him nowhere. They faintly heard a very shocked deputy headmistress say

"Did he just call me 'woman'?" and Draco answer with,

"That's not what he wanted to call you, trust me. He's called his own mother worse."

"Fucking mudblood!" Harry yelled, and the two were gone.

At lunch, they returned to the Great Hall, Rafiki grinning like an idiot.

"He really don't like you, does he?" Rafiki asked, referring to the headmaster. "Wait! If you just figured out the charm to let you speak through your mind, how did you manage to insult your mother as we left?"

"Lyrics from a pureblood rally song from the first rise of Voldemort. "That's what Death eaters sang as they tortured and killed the filthy little mudblood children. The title of the song is 'Fucking Mudbloods'. They had to use the American fucking, as 'bloody mudblood' is slightly repetitive, and, also slightly gory, seeing as they were raping and killing children as they sang it. Lucius Malfoy doesn't have that kind of humor."

"My father wrote that? And he never taught it to me?" Draco asked, indignant.

"Yes, I'll teach it to you later. About Dumbledore not liking me, the feeling is quite mutual. No self respecting pureblooded Slytherin becomes a filthy blood traitor, Muggle loving, candy hording old fool. Even if that is a façade, it is so Gryffindor I want to break down and cry right here." Harry sat down next to Draco.

"WAIT! Dumbledore is a Slytherin?" Blaise Zabini, a tall tan skinned boy asked.

"No shit, Sherlock." Rafiki said.

"Holmes is dead, shit head. Yeah, the great leader of the side of the light and good is nothing but a manipulative, sneaky, slimy snake. Odd, as I am being called a traitor. Dumbledore is the traitor here. Be betrayed his entire house, encouraging the rumors that Slytherins are evil. I say we revolt." Harry said, quite loudly, without ever actually moving his lips.

"Fuck yes. Let's protest and demonstrate until they mother fuckers just can't stand it any more." Rafiki said.

"That is how we got the Australian magic community to stop trying to dominate the world." Harry added. "we protested the hell out of that ministry. We may have scared them a little, too."

"Scared them? We had half of the god damned world running from us in terror." Rafiki exclaimed. "you know why?" harry and Rafiki answered the question, as they always did.

"Because nobody fucks with the Princes of Darkness! Draco, have you ever heard of the Dark Order? They were having a raid one day, in America. We apparated there and killed them all within seconds. Blood everywhere you turned. Harry cut sixty two people completely in half within fifty nine seconds. We timed him. Then, Rafiki Pulled out a .45, aimed at the last persons, and blew up there heads! Nobody even had time to point a wand at us!" the two talking boys talked so fast their sentences all blended together, not distinguishable between the two.

"Mr. Potter!" the voice of Severus Snape yelled. "care to explain why I found this in the first year boys dormitory?" he was holding Harrys sniper rifle, as if it was the plague.

"Care to explain why in hells name you were in my dormitory, without consent, or prior warning?" Harry sneered. "To answer your rudely interrupting question, That is my favorite rifle. Would you hand it over, before you hurt yourself?" Harry demanded.

"This is a weapon-" Harry cut off the rest of Snapes sentence.

"No shit." Harry snapped. "that is why it is my humble opinion that you hand it over, before you kill somebody. No! don't do that your going to-"

"_**BANG!**_"

The gun went off, hitting Harrys shoulder. "You _shot_ me!" Harry yelled. "complete imbecile. Honestly, how do you do that after someone tells you not to do that? And why in gods name was that so loud?" Harry snapped.

"Because, Harry," Rafiki said calmly, "you're not the one using it. That gun is only quiet when you use it. So are all your other weapons. Your swords make that odd screeching sound when anybody but you uses them. They also have the odd habit of screaming out my next move." Rafiki glared. "It was funny to hear the sword yell 'BEHEADING!' as I executed somebody, though."

"I aim to please, Rafiki. Give me the rifle. Now." Harry demanded. Snape hesitated.

"Your eleven. What are you doing with weapons?" Snape asked.

"I invited them to a tea party. You great bloody oaf! I protect myself and Nate with them. Did you really expect m to wasn't my time with petty curses, when these are so much faster, and more painful? Besides, most wizards don't know the difference between any Muggle weapons. Now, give it back before I make the rest of your life a living hell."

"No, Potter, I think I'll keep it." Snape sneered. Harry smirked, then waved his hand.

"And I will keep this." Snapes favorite potions vials shot into Harrys hand. "deal?"

"Give it back."

"Fuck no." harry handed the crystal vials to Rafiki, before pulling out his .45 handgun. "Hand it over, or you find out exactly why I use guns instead of wands.

"Give them back, Potter. I am the teacher-"

"It don't matter, what the fuck your name is, nothing nice, is what my game is." Harry said, in an icy voice. The Weasley twins spell came in handy, Harry noticed, at random times. Snap used a severing charm on the rifle, cutting of the barrel. "Oh, playin dirty, are we?" Rafiki threw a vial of veritaserum high into the air. Without taking his eyes off Snape, Harry shot the vial out of the air. It exploded, and harry vanished it before it hit the students.

"Wolfsbane, Harry?" Rafiki asked. Harry nodded. He shot that vial out of the air, too. "Rat pelts, Harry. Those are fun." Not having taken his eyes off of Snape, who was now ready to faint, Harry changed the bullet style in the handgun. He had made a few changes to the original concept of these, all for the better.

Forty eight bottles went up into the air, thrown by Rafiki and Draco. Harry fired six shots, making all the vials explode. Each bullet had split into eight as soon as it was projected towards an object. Never taking his eyes off the potions master.

"I think we're even now. That rifle costs more than you have ever touched inn your miserable life. It certainly cost more than your potions, and the vials. That was a gift from the mafia. You got the vials at the apothecary in Hogsmeade." Harry sneered. "ill replace the potions when you replace my rifle. Good day, Snape." Harry swept past him, in a good impression of Snape himself.

The next Saturday, Harry, Draco, and Rafiki were sitting by the lake. An owl landed in front of Harry and left a black letter in his hands. Without meaning to, Harry gasped. A black letter meant a death of a relative of very, very close friend.

Harry had lost the closest thing he had ever had to a brother. "Harry?" Draco asked softly. "Are you all right?"

"Jay-Jay." Harry muttered. "Rafi, they killed Jay. My father, James potter, killed my best friend." Harry said faintly. He stood up and stormed into the great hall, where most of the school, including all of the staff, was having dinner. Harry threw the doors open with a loud crash.

"NATHANIEL SIRIUS POTTER!" Harry screamed, his voice betraying his blind fury. "HOW THE FUCK DARE YOU ACCUSE MY BROTHER OF DARK ARTS! TRUST ME, YOU STUPID SON OF A MUDBLOOD BITCH, I WILL DESTROY YOU IF IT'S THE LAST FUCKING THING I DO!" Harry yelled. Rafiki finished reading the letter.

"YOU GODDAMNED ASSHOLE! THAT WAS MY BEST GOD DAMNED FRIEND YOU HAD FUCKING KILLED! MOTHER FUCKER, YOU HAD BETTER HOPE YOU DON'T WAKE UP TO A _VERY_ PIOSONUS SNAKE ON YOUR PILLOW TOMMOROW!" Rafiki yelled. Nate looked ready to wet himself. It may have been the way his attackers looked.

Rafiki was wearing long, baggy blue pants, with a white tee shirt, his blue hair spiked. His twelve piercing were intimidating.

Harry was wearing long, baggy black pants that had silver trim up the sides. On the right back pocket, was a picture of a flaming skull. He was showing at least four inches of black boxers, that had small green skulls and crossbones on them. His short black hair was also spiked, making it look devilish. His shirt was a plain white tee, an extra large.

Both had eyes with looks of pure hatred and fury.

"What are you talking about? I didn't kill anybody!" Nate said vehemently.

"NO YOU DIDN'T! YOU HAD YOUR DADDY DO IT FOR YOU! YOU RAN CRYING TO HIM ABOUT ME BEING DARK, AND ASKED HIM TO PROTECT YOUR PATHETIC ASS! HE KILLED MY BROTHER! MY BROTHER!" Harry yelled, enraged. " MY BROTHER IN BLOOD, MIND, MAGIC, SOUL, AND ANY OTHER DAMN THING I'M FORGETTING IN MY ANGER! WHAT'S IT LIKE TO KNOW YOUR FATHER IS A COLD BLOODED MURDERER? JAY WAS ONLY THIRTEEN!"

"Malfoys father is a murderer, why don't you ask him?" Nate sneered. Harrys voice went from fury to a deadly calm in a flash.

"I never said he wasn't. but the potters don't murder without reason. Tell me, Nate, what was the reason for killing a thirteen year old squib, that had no chance of defending himself? Jay was more of a brother than you could ever dream to be, Nate. Both of his parents were murdered by Voldemort personally. He was only three. It was Voldemorts last attack before he came to our house, Nate.

"Jay-Jay was a pure spirit. He was goin' places. He wanted to go to a Muggle university. He was hella smart. If he were to have magic, he would have been in Ravenclaw. He wasn't born a squib, Nate. All his magic was used trying to protect his parents, subconsciously. He passed out from the sudden lack of magic. Voldemort didn't kill him, because he thought that Jay had been killed by the magical backlash of the two killing curses.

"He was accused of being a dark wizard, when he couldn't possibly do any sort of magic at all. He was killed by James Potter, auror extraordinaire, because he ran. He died fucking thinking he was being attacked by death eaters, Nate. Jay-Jay thought he was being attacked. Lord knows I would have run, too. _Your_ father cast a reductor curse at him. It hit him in the head, Nate. His head was blown off his shoulders by the spell, both because of the power, and because his body couldn't handle the father attacked a small, defenseless, harmless child! A _child_!" Harry roared. Nate flinched.

"I didn't ask dad to kill anybody!" Nate argued. Harry shook his head, and raised his right hand towards Nate. He said a long, long spell in Latin.

"You are no longer my brother, and I am no longer under the influence of an unbreakable vow." Harry said. "By my life and my magic, I declare you Unworthy." Harry said in a firm, deep, mature voice. There were many voices from around the hall.

"What?" Nate asked Hermione Granger worriedly. "What does that mean?"

"It means, Nate, that he doesn't think you're worthy of your titles, positions of power, your magic, and even your life. It means that you are unworthy of even a passing glance. Nate, if people hear about this, you will no longer be considered the boy-who-lived. You could also be stripped of your magic." Hermione said, in one long breath. Nate gasped.

"B-b-b-but, I'm the boy-who-lived! I defeated Voldemort! I-"

"No, You blubbering fool. That is just a title. You didn't defeat Voldemort. Not at all. He was here, just last week. He walked in on the back of Quirrels head. Where they hell were you? The shriek alone could haven awoken the dead."

"Ah! Albus! I have to speak with you about an important matter." The voice of James Potter carried around the hall. The little hairs on the back of Harrys head stood on end, out of anger. "Oh, Nate, I got your letter. Don't worry, everything is taken care of. Albus? A word, please?" James asked. Harry turned around, wand in hand.

"You son of a bitch." Harry growled. The air around Harry turned ice cold. "You stupid murderer. You're no better than Voldemort. You have gone against the ways of the purebloods, as such, you will be taken to the pureblood council. The crimes you are charged with are murdering an innocent teenager. James Potter, it's judgment day. Call me Judge, Jury, and Executioner." Harry said.

"What do you think your going to do? You're a first year. I am a fully trained auror." James sneered. Harry walked right up to James, so that they were toe to toe.

"Do you have any idea what I have done in the last five years? You would merely be another name on the list of people I have executed. You killed my brother. In pureblood law, that gives me the right to kill you right now. I'll spare you, but you owe me a life debt." Harry growled.

TBC


	3. Christmas Holidays, With A Little Trees

Disclaimer: Still not mine. Nope. Not now either.

Concerning some more ...sensitive... topics, then. I understand that it is not normal for eleven year olds to smoke weed. But! But, it does happen. Please do not judge the fic on that alone. Understand that Harry, Draco, and Rafiki have lead diverse, interesting, hard, brutal lives. They find a release, and run with it. Please read and review!

Harry was in a bad mood. Everyone in the castle knew this. The only time he would speak would be to explode at somebody. Harry had quite the temper. He had taken on six seventh years by himself after they laughed at him for ever being friends with a squib. That happened in the great hall. Harry never even moved, he just glared at them and they caught on fire.

It was two weeks after the death of Jay Jay. Harry just seemed to be becoming angrier, until one day he walked into the great hall smiling. "Hello, Draco!" Harry said happily, sitting down and piling his plate full of food.

Draco was shocked. "Harry, you ok, mate?" the blonde asked.

"Sure, I'm bloody fantastic! Why wouldn't I be? I just lost my brother by my fathers hand, and I just got the best damn news of my life! Why wouldn't I be all right?" Harry asked, putting a wee bit too much effort in buttering his toast.

"What news did you get?" Rafiki asked from across the table.

"Nothing!" Harry spoke through gritted teeth, and a forced smile.

"Come on, Scar, you can't lie to us. What is it?" Draco asked.

"I am the sole beneficiary in Jay Jays will, Draco. I just had ninety million galleons put into a private vault in Gringotts." Harry said.

"Is that bad?" Rafiki asked.

"No, just- forget it." Harry said. "So, tell me, Draco, how's your father?"

"Grand," Draco said, raising an eyebrow. "Are you avoiding the question?"

"Why the hell would I avoid the question?" Harry asked, his forced smile still there.

"Because you have an annoying tendency to avoid this type of thing." Rafiki said.

"The fucking sperm donor just fucking killed my best fucking friend, and is still alive. I think I've kept myself together well, thank you very much!" Harry snapped. "A weaker person would have torn his heart out and force fed it to his son." Harry growled.

"Oh, shit," Draco said. "You have some issues, don't you?"

"Hahaha." Harry said.

The next morning, it was announced that James Potter would be teaching defense against the dark arts, taking over for Quirrel. After that particular dinner, Harry had had a two hour argument with the headmaster. Harry had insisted that James Potter wasn't fit to take the job. The headmaster had disagreed. Harry had to be silenced a forcefully taken out of the office by Snape for him to stop ranting.

For the remainder of the fall term, Harry, Draco, and Rafiki were tied for top marks in all of their subjects. Christmas came quickly, startling the three Absentis Animus.

They had gotten that nickname from a seventh year Ravenclaw who had been teasing them. Trying to be cool, or as cool as any Ravenclaw can get, he tried to insult their intellect, by speaking Latin. Flawed Latin. He had tried to say 'Lost Souls', but instead came up with 'Missing Spirits'. Harry, Draco, and Rafiki, who all spoke Latin fluently, laughed at the stupid seventeen year old.

From then on they were known as Absentis Animus. The Missing Spirits.

The Ravenclaw became a shame to his house.

Harry was standing next to Rafiki in a room filled with people, smoke, and illegal substances. Draco was on Rafiki's left, rolling a blunt. "Will you hurry it up, Draco?" Rafiki asked.

"That's what we get for letting the perfectionist roll it…" Harry said.

They were at a muggle party, in the middle of America. Harry didn't remember the exact events that led to their being in a different country, but he didn't care. He was quite happily stoned. How he became stoned, or when he started using drugs, was a complete mystery to Harry.

Thee intoxicated eleven year olds entered platform nine and three quarters, being extremely loud and rude. Parents glared at them, while students explained them to their parents.

"Hey! Hey, Potter! I- I dare you to jump off the astronomy tower!" Draco said, loudly, on the platform.

"How much do you plan on paying me for that?" Harry asked.

"Ah, hell, I'd give you a hundred galleons if you did that!" Draco said.

"I'll give you both five hundred galleons if you swim across the lake tonight!" Rafiki said.

"Fuck yes, you got a deal." Harry and Draco said together.

"Not that either of you need the money…" Rafiki said.

"Woah buddy, I may be the third richest human being on the planet, but never say I don't need money. What about you, baby?" Harry asked Draco.

"My spot as Malfoy heir was set in stone as soon as I was sorted into Slytherin." stated Draco proudly.

"Odd! I was disowned when I got into Slytherin!" Harry laughed maniacally.

"Ooooh! You got dis_owned_!" Draco and Rafiki said.

"That wasn't funny after the first time you said it." Harry laughed. People were throwing them odd looks, like they were crazy or something. Nope, they were just extremely drunk.

Albus Dumbledore sat at the staff table, waiting for the students to arrive. They came in a wave of laughter and chatter. He was about to stand up and greet them, but a hand on his right forearm stopped him.

"Albus, we're missing three students," Minerva whispered to him.

"Who?" albus asked the deputy headmistress.

"Potter, Malfoy, and Mindenekelott." Minerva huffed, stumbling over the long name. "What does that mean anyway?"

"I believe it is Hungarian for above all, chief, first of all." Albus replied absently. Minerva snorted. Just as Albus was about to ask Severus so go look for the boys, they came in the door.

"Fuck, Potter! You know I can't swim!" Malfoy yelled.

"I also know that the boy wonder has an extreme fear of butterflies. That didn't stop me from filling his room with them," Harry said.

"Yes, but YOU THREW ME INTO THE LAKE!" Draco screamed. Harry just smiled.

"I dunno, you were starting to look too hot…" Harry said.

"Harry, shut the fuck up, before I shut you up," Draco snapped, sitting down at the very end of the Slytherin table.

"Try it, shrimpy." Harry said. "I dare you. Come on. Try it." Harry mocked. "Wait! Rafi owes us five hundred galleons each!" Harry said, rounding on the prince. "Pay up," Harry said.

"No, you didn't swim in the lake," Rafiki said slowly.

"Pay me, or I will tar your head off and use it as a cereal bowl." That got results. Rafiki nearly tore his pocket off in an attempt to get his money. Harry and Draco sat down happily.

"Whoooo! Dray-Dray, the roof is sparkly!" Harry snorted.

"Owh! It is! lookey, Fiki! It is sparkly! Harry!" Draco said, his eyes widening. "Are you craving gummy bears?" Harry started hopping up and down in his seat.

"Ye-es! Do you have any? Huh! Do ya, do ya, do ya?" Harry started giggling. "Your hair is sooo white!"

"Potter! Malfoy! Mindenekelott! My office! Now!" thundered Albus.

"Right-e-o, Gandalf! I mean, Merlin! Ehhh, Dumbledore?" Draco said. "Fuck it. See ya there, old man. I'm a little tea cup, short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up, hear me shout, tip me over and pour me out…" And the three were out of the hall. But they could still be heard.

"Where the hell did that armor come from? That hurt a little. Holy shit, I'm being attacked! RUN FOR IT!" Harry yelled. the sound of thundering steps, banging, and crashing followed them up seven flights.

"Now then! I trust all of you had a splendid holiday, and that you're ready to continue with your studies. Now, before all of you storm the house elves in the kitchen, let's eat!" Food appeared on the five tables.

Albus swept out of the hall, and up to his office. Throwing the door open, he glared at the three offending students.

"What was that?" Albus asked, sitting down behind his desk. The three first years looked at each other, then giggled. "I do not see the humor in this situation, boys." They laughed harder. "Now really!"

After having heard about the headmaster and the deputy headmistress, Harry was totally unable to look at the man without laughing. He just kept getting nasty mental images.

"Are you three intoxicated?" Dumbledore asked.

"Escaplain whats 'inoxicated' an'a we'll tell you if we's ares," Harry said. It seems the alcohol had effected his speech patterns. Draco snorted. Rafiki was rolling around on the ground.

Albus sighed. These three were so young! To have fallen so low, at such a young age, was a shame. Sighing again, Albus stood up, and went to stand in front of the three rebelling preteens.

He hated this part of being a headmaster. But there was no way he could allow this sort of behavior to continue. "I am very sorry to say that you three are suspended from this school, for one month," Albus sighed. He was talking to three people who had glazed eyes.

"So, SO, wait! We're free to go? Like, right now? For a month? Are you serious?" Rafiki asked, slowly.

"Yes-" Albus got no further. Two chairs tipped over, from the force their previous occupants had ejected from them. The door slammed open and closed.

Minerva McGonagall sat in the hall, waiting for Albus to return. It was quite in the room. The students were busy eating the feast, and quietly discussing the recent revelations.

James and Lily Potter were having a whispered argument a few seats away from her.

Crashing and banging came from floors above, startling Minerva into spilling wine into her lap. The startling sounds continued to get closer and closer.

"Hell yeah! FREEDOM!" came scream. They were on the grand staircase. Three drunk eleven year olds came to a skidding halt in front of the door to the great hall.

"Peace, suckers!" Draco yelled.

"We're out of here!" Rafiki said.

"Let's go, before we're arrested for being drunk in public," Harry said.

"We're not in public. This is a private school," Draco rolled his eyes.

"Well excuse me, MR. King of the bloody world," Harry gave a mock boy in Dracos direction.

"Well, you could call me that. Or you could call me Mr. Hotter than everybody else on the planet, just because I'm rich," Draco said. Harry grabbed Draco and started pulling him out of the castle. "What are you doing?"

"You said you were hot! I figured you wanted to go for a swim with the squid," Harry replied innocently.

"You're dead, Potter!" Draco screeched.

"Funny, you'd think he'd stop walking around…" Rafiki said.

"Put me down, you lame excuse for a pureblood!" Draco screeched. They were out of the castle. "You're tickling me, Potter!"

And then Albus came into the room from the back entrance, behind the teachers table.

"Well, that did not go as planned." He sat down and began to eat.


	4. Rubber Ducky!

Harry stumbled around, as if he were blind. Which, as it is, he pretty much was. He had lost his contacts. In an abandoned house. Not good.

Draco suddenly tripped over a chair, and he fell over. "Ugh, bloody chair…" the blonde boy grumbled. "Hurry up, Potter! We have to get to Hogwarts… like, now!"

"Do you think I planned to lose my sight?" Harry snapped. There was a startled yelp from behind Harry.

"Found it!" Rafiki yelled. Harry turned and saw his royal friend lying on the floor, flat on his stomach. The princes' legs were on top of an upturned couch, and the boy was covered in dust.

"Are you sure? It's not a piece of glass again, is it?" Harry asked. The last time Rafiki had thought he had found it, he had actually found a sharp piece of glass. Rafiki now had a neon pink band-aid on two of the fingers on his right hand.

Harry walked over and plucked the jelly lens out of Rafiki's fingers. He put it back in his right eye. "Much better!" he said happily.

"Come on! Let's go! School! Now!" Draco shouted, storming out of the house. Harry laughed as Draco tripped over a loose stone, tumbling five or six feet.

"Somebody's in a hurry to go back to classes," Harry snorted.

They floo-ed from Diagon Ally to Hogsmeade, and then trekked to Hogwarts. Draco kept pestering Harry. The blonde wanted to know how Harry had broken his hand.

The reached the great hall in record time. Harry was fed up. "Ask me again, Malfoy, and I'm hexing you to hell and back. I don't care if my hand is broken, I'm still more powerful than you are," Harry said, his voice deadly calm. They were just inside the castle doors now. Harry could see the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables. Draco whirled around.

"You have to throw that in my face, don't you? You're so bloody arrogant!" Draco bellowed. Harry smirked.

"And you're not?" he countered. Draco opened his mouth, then snapped it closed.

"GRRR! You're infuriating!" Draco growled. Harry smiled sweetly at him.

"I am not! I'm lovable and adorable," Harry thundered.

"Harry, you and the Prince of Darkness there are out to take over the world. Lovable my ass," Draco said. The blonde turned and started up the main staircase. Harry and Rafiki were left in the middle of the entrance hall, well aware that all of Hogwarts was looking at them. They looked at each other, then the retreating form of Draco.

"That's right! We're picking up where Voldemort left off," they said together. "Taking over the world, ONE RUBBER DUCKY AT A TIME!" they screamed, running after Draco, up the stairs.

They got to the headmasters office a few seconds after Draco. The other Slytherin was seated across from Dumbledore. Harry walked in with a confident stride, followed by Rafiki. Dumbledore seemed to be reading Harry's shirt. It was black, and in red letters said 'Submit. Worship. Obey.' Harry smirked at the man.

When all three were sitting, Dumbledore began speaking. "Now, as you three left my office before I could explain anything, I will tell you now. It is quite against the rules to be intoxicated on Hogwarts grounds. It results in suspension, as you may have noticed. It is rather uncommon that I am forced to suspend somebody.

"On to the terms of your return. You will be back in your common room directly after dinner, and you will not wander the halls. You have had your one chance, and that is all you get. If it happens again, you will be expelled," Dumbledore said, calmly, eyeing each one of them.

"Excellent. Can we go?" Draco asked. He was not a very patient person. Dumbledore shook his head slightly.

"Harry, as you found the traitor Pettigrew, you will be required to attend the trial, and explain how you knew the exact whereabouts of him. Now, you may go," Dumbledore said. The three boys jumped up.

"One rubber ducky at a time?" Draco asked, after the had left the headmasters office. Harry looked at the blonde, and saw that his left eyebrow was slightly raised.

"Hell yes. It's common knowledge that the ministry of magic is run by rubber ducks disguised as humans, disguised as politicians. It was all a political rouse thought up by Jermaine the Duck, way back in seventeen ninety two, as means for him to gain followers illegally without the public knowing. It worked, and now the ministers just use the Ducks because it's cheaper," Rafiki explained.

"Oh," Draco said. The boys walked in silence for a few minutes. "How do they work, then?"

"The Ducks? I told you, Drake, they're charmed to act as normal humans can. All quite simple, really," Rafiki said, an air of superiority about him. Draco huffed.

"You're yanking my chain, aren't you?" the blonde asked.

"And you took the bait: hook, line, and sinker. Mate, you're soo gullible," Harry said. Draco punched his arm, very hard, in fact.

"I am NOT gullible!" the blonde screeched.

"Bloody hell, mate! Yeh sound like a little girl!" Rafiki muttered, rubbing his ear. Draco growled and glared.

"Fuck off."

"Go to hell."

"Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt," Draco said, smiling. Rafiki grinned.

"This may just be the beginning of a VERY long friendship."

"And the beginning of seven long years of torturing teachers…" Harry said.

All three boys grinned maniacally.


	5. A Tid Bit

The next Morning

Harry, Malfoy, and Rafiki strutted into the Great hall.

"Harry, in the name of god, why the hell did we come back here?!?! You are a hell of a lot more powerful than the 'teacher' in this shit hole," Malfoy complained loudly as they sat down at the Slytherin table.

They heard a shout from the Gryffindor table, "Why don't you go back then? No one wants you here!" The shout came from Nate Potter.

"Damn! When is that kid gonna learn his lesson?" Harry whispered to Malfoy and Rafiki. In a blink, Harry was right next to Nate.

"Look kid, I wouldn't give a shit if I killed you. That should scare you. I have one thing to say, so I'll say it slowly for your tiny brain to comprehend. Talk to my friends, you die. Talk to me, you die. Talk about me or my friends-"

"I die," Nate finished.

"Rightio, sport. I promise you, it'll hurt. Oh, and if you go crying to your Daddy, you, him, and your Mother die. Speaking of which, there is something she would like to tell you. You're not the baby anymore." Then Harry was gone.

He didn't show up again until third period double Potions.

"Were the hell have you been? We were worried Potter," Malfoy said sarcastically.

"Fuck off," Harry responded "I was busy."

"What do you think I should make today. I'm kind of in an invention kind of mood. I thinks I'll make a new kind of poison, a, uh, painful one." Harry said loudly, so his brother could hear.


	6. A kid, A Hex, and A Professor

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, Fred and Hedwig wouldn't have died. I do not own Harry Potter. I own Professor Lothar, that is all.

**A Kid, A Hex, And A Professor**

"Harry, what the fuck are you doing!?" Rafiki yelled in pure astonishment. "Your bloody mad if you want to erase your former family from the damn earth!"

"Shut up Rafiki, he can do whatever the hell he wants. It's not like he's going to forget that he needs to blow up your dear old dad. I honestly am surprised that it took him so fucking long," Draco commented. Harry, who had been staring off into space, suddenly realized they were speaking and it was about him.

"You two can both shut your damn mouths unless you want me to blow you to pieces as well! If the family ends up on my list, then I will most definitely wait for the birth of the child. The new Harry is my blood, my brother, and also what I would call an innocent," Harry said.

"Um… by Harry you mean…?" Rafiki asked timidly, a little freaked out by Harry's calm nature.

"The Potters will name the child Harry James. They plan to replace me. The child will join me though. He will be very much like me and we will call him James, as to not confuse the names," Harry explained in the same calm voice.

"If those bloody gits treat him like shit, as I expect them to, he'll come to me. I just need to make sure he knows about me…" Harry said, mostly to himself but sounding quite a bit more like himself.

"Why the hell do we need the kid?" Draco asked. Harry and Rafiki ignored him as they went off to Defense Against the Darks Arts class. The new Professor was there.

"Hello boys, one month of detention for lateness. Eight o'clock each night. Take a seat," he said in a drawling voice.

"Just don't expect us, bitch," Draco said just loud enough for the Professor to hear.

"Well kid, I do and you don't want to think about the hell your life will be if you don't show. Think of this classroom as a second home." Nate was laughing thoroughly enjoying seeing his brother getting told off.

Harry sent a bat-bogey hex at Nate from under the table.

"Professor!" yelled Ron, who had been sitting next to Nate.

"What, Weasley!?" Lothar yelled, still staring at Harry.

"It's Nate! I think something's happening to him! His face…it's... well…being attacked!" Ron replied in a scared voice.

Lothar carelessly raised his wand at Nate and the curse was lifted. Nate kept insisting he go to the Hospital Wing. Ron accompanied him. Harry, Draco, and Rafiki were laughing so hard that they could hardly breathe.

"Class, how about we demonstrate to Mr. Potter what happens to people when they perform mediocre spells in front of a teacher. I was under the impression that he was a good wizard. I'm sad to see that I have yet again been disappointed by the young. Wasted generation at best."

"Mediocre!!!! Who the hell do you think you are!?!?" Harry exclaimed. On the verge of pulling his wand on the damn teacher.

"Professor Liam Lothar, your damn teacher, what, you think that your mind is private?" he added seeing Harry's surprised face, "Yet another disappointment. If you're a good wizard, I would hate to see a shitty one." He added as an afterthought.

"No more private than your mind, _Professor_. Was that your sister shoving you don't the toilet? I loved that your head was so big that it made the toilet explode." Harry retaliated

"Fake memory dumbass. Detention. Eight. You and your fan club. My office. Be on time. Class dismissed," Lothar finished.

"What the hell was that Harry?" Draco asked as they left the classroom "You're not just gonna take that!?"

"I'm not sure." Harry said obviously hating to say so. "We'll see tonight."

"You're fucking kidding, right? We aren't seriously going to detention!" Draco said, scowling.

"Yes, we are. Herbology is next." Harry answered.

"Harry, why the hell are we going to detention!?!? It's so stupid…" Draco whined for the billionth time.

"Shut the fuck up already. Before I curse your tongue to wrap around your empty head," Harry said angrily.

"Man, this is stupid, why don't you just modify his memory and we can go to Hogsmeade and pick up some fire whiskey," Rafiki suggested having made many other similar suggestions.

"One last time," Harry began thoroughly tired of saying this "We are going to detention, nowhere else. We'll see what the hell he wants." They had finally arrived at Lothar's office. Harry knocked.

"Your ten minutes late come back tomorrow at 8:00" came a call from Lothar through the door. Harry immediately turned and began to leave. Draco and Rafiki did not fallow.

"What the hell! That's like ten minutes early for us! Its just detention," Draco said in outrage.

"This is fucking ridiculous! We're forced to come then we are just told to leave!"

"Think of it as relief from jury duty. Now leave. I will see you tomorrow." Lothar responded apparently amused.

"You guys are fucking complaining about not going to detention. Can you say bi-polar," Harry said looking as amused as Lothar had sounded.

"Shut up, Harry" they both said in unison.

"What the hell is jury duty anyway?" Draco said still annoyed.

"Something to do with muggle law in America, I think." Rafiki answered.

"How the hell do you know that!?!?" Harry and Draco asked entirely confused.

"Um… well… my mum had a little muggle blood. My great Aunt Enid lives in America, she was complaining about having to go…" Rafiki said, blushing.

"My mums a mudblood, I feel your damn pain," Harry said.

"I'm a pureblood. If my father—" Draco was cut off.

"Fuck your father, Draco," Harry said.

"I thought that was what you did on the weekends, Harry. I would hate to get in between the two of you," Draco snapped back.

The next night the boys were not late.

"Come," he said the second they entered his office and he headed down the corridor. Harry fallowed with Draco and Rafiki at his heels.

Harry was beginning to get annoyed by this old bat. It took him quite a bit of self control for him not to just pull out his wand a curse the bastard. His annoying curiosity overpowered the urge though. He continued to follow him, feeling more and more like the guy's bitch.


	7. If I Only Had A Brain

If I Only Had a Brain

**If I Only Had a Brain**

"Look man, if you don't tell us what the hell is going on—" Harry began, clearly exasperated, but Lothar cut him off.

"You boys have detention. Christ, and they say you're the bright one…" Lothar trailed off.

"You need help. You are a pain in the ass with too much power, but still, in the _loosest_ definition, a good guy. You need training to be that, and I'm the only one who doesn't take crap from a powerful eleven year old."

"Fuck you. Who says I need anyone to train me and what the hell makes you think you _can_?" Harry incredulously asked.

"Please kid. Are you trying to tell me that an eleven year old boy has learned everything there is to know about all magic and has no weaknesses?" Lothar glared at him knowingly, daring him to lie.

"Of course. Our boy Harry's the shit!" Rafiki said proudly.

"Fine. Tomorrow. Noon. I'll meet you here," Harry answered and turned around to head to the boys dormitory, with Draco and Rafiki at his heels.

"What the fuck, Harry?!" Draco exclaimed, not even knowing how to respond to his friend's ridiculous decision.

"Ask no questions and I'll tell no lies." Harry simply stated; the topic was never brought up again, despite the lameness of the cliché. He began to be mentored by Professor Liam Lothar.

"So, what do you want to do with this all? You know, your power, your life?" Lothar asked him, wondering where to start this tedious training.

"How do you fake memories?" Harry asked.

"You pretend they're true," Lothar answered simply, wondering how this brilliant boy couldn't figure that much out himself.

"When have you used it?" Harry asked furthermore.

"On Dumbledore, when he's gets too pissy. Quite the temper that man has with enough mead in his system. . ." Lothar responded without thinking, though he regretted it immediately.

"Figures the old man can't hold his liquor… So you don't get along with our dear old Headmaster, eh?" Harry asked, noticing Lothar's worried expression.

"No, we just butt heads on occasion…" he responded vaguely looking for a change of topic.

"Kay then," Harry responded, making a mental note to add some mead to Dumbledore's pumpkin juice sometime.

"What memories would you want to fake anyhow, boy?" Lothar asked, suddenly curious.

"Can't have people knowing me too well now can I?" Harry said in an attempt to joke about it but still looking serious. "But how would I, without forgetting what really happened?" he asked, and for the first time he just looked like a curious first year, well if you excuse all the tattoos and piercings that is.

"Well, have you ever noticed that when you think you have different layers of thought? Well, your memories work the same way. You have your most vivid memories, then you have memories stored up, more so in your unconscious state. That's why many of your dreams remind you of your past. People often have dreams in places with which they are familiar, even though they do not always realize it. Especially when-"

"So I kinda just have to move the original memory into my subconscious, and use it as an outline to make the memory someone will see if they read my mind?" Harry asked, getting bored of Lothar's never ending rant.

"Well, basically…" Lothar responded, kind of put off by Harry's abruptness.

"Ok so I'll give it a try with something that I don't care if-" Lothar cut him off.

"And thus a problem arises. You see all memories are different. Meaning that, if you can manipulate one, you may not be able to manipulate another, more important memory," Lothar explained.

"Nice try. This just sounds like a trick so that you can see my thoughts, but I was pretty sure that you gave me more credit than that," Harry said, slightly disgusted.

"Don't get so cocky, kid. If I wanted to see your thoughts you wouldn't even notice that I was there. Damn boy, I taught Voldemort Legimency and Oculmency. Lucky for you, he was always too cocky to think that the mind of an eleven year old would present any kind of interest to him, or you would be screwed. You are a hell of a lot better than Snape, I'll give you that. But you can not detect a person when they are in you're head. Nor are you undetectable. These things must be taught to you before you learn how to make up a memory to make it appear real." Lothar said, matter o' fact tone.

"HELL NO! I don't need anything else from you. Just teach me what I wanna know then I'm out," Harry said, angry with himself for ever considering allowing a teacher to, well, _teach_ him. They're all arrogant bastards anyway.

"Fine. I will attempt, but if it does not work, will you do it my way?" Lothar replies grouchily.

Harry was sure that it wouldn't be a problem. He had mastered a million different skills on his own and with someone teaching him how, it wouldn't take him more than a minute. Well, that is if Lothar didn't spend ten minutes talking about shit that Harry didn't give a crap about.

Harry kept trying. And trying. And trying. Why the hell wouldn't it work! Lothar's probably just fed him with a load of shit. That must be why. Every spell, incantation, potion,… EVERYTHING worked for Harry. But one tiny little fucking concept was not kind enough to simply follow the crowd! While Harry kept blaming his lack of success on everything and everyone except for himself, he heard a voice in his head, it said '_Who's the arrogant bastard, now?'_. That bastard. Did Harry really have no right to privacy in his own damn head?

"LOTHAR! Never get in my head without announcing yourself first! FINE. I agree to your damn idea, but I'm not fucking happy about it!" he finally said in his newly found voice of defeat.

"Good …" Lothar said and began his thirty minute lecture. Harry stared at a fly and zoned in every few minutes to catch the key points. At the end of the lecture Harry caught the fly. He loved the Karate Kid.

That was the manner in which their lessons took place over the next three years. Lothar would do something cool. Harry would say that it was cool. Harry and Lothar argue about how it was taught. One of them would win. When Harry won, the lesson took about ten minutes. When Lothar won, well it would take about three hours. The pattern worked for them.

--midway through 4th year--

One hour late, Harry, Rafiki, and Draco walked into potions completely and utterly stoned.

"Where the hell have you three been?" Snape asked, more out of habit than actually wanting an answer.

"Visiting the Myrtles…" Draco replied with a dreamy look on his face and a voice to match it.

"Um…the Myrtles?" Snape asked, unable to resist.

"Yes…you see there are two Myrtle ghosts now…" Draco replied in the same manner as before.

"Professor!" Nate shouted, hoping to get some attention, "I think they're stoned!" he said in excitement, believing that he had helped the professor and had made it on his good side finally, after four long years of kissing his ass.

"No shit Sherlock." Snape replied, now more annoyed with Nate than the other three. Not that it mattered; he hadn't successfully put them in detention for four years, why put the effort in now?

Snape walked to his potions cabinet and pulled out three potion bottles filled with bright red potion. He handed one to each of the boys. They refused.

"We don't want to!!" all three of them yell in attempted unison, but hey, their stoned: the fact that they said the same thing was a miracle. Anyway, they were as annoying sounding as little Harry during a tantrum. Rafiki even stomped his foot down to add to the affect. Unfortunately, well, unfortunately for Nate, he had stomped his foot right on a tube of undiluted bubotuber pus, which sprayed directly into Nate's face.

"Weasley, take Potter to the hospital wing," Snape ordered over the trios chants of Bubohead and crater face, and at the same time trying to shove the potions down the boy's throats. And people said men can't multi task. . .

About ten minutes later the potions had finally been forced down their throats and the boys were still laughing about Nate, but with slightly better insults. Soon the bell rang and everyone filed out of the dungeons.

"What's next?" Draco asked, hoping that they could just blow it off.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts," Rafiki answered dryly, still annoyed at the recent blatant waste of his stash.

"Damn. Lothar's gonna be pissy…" Harry said only slightly unnerved.

"Why?" Draco and Rafiki ask in nearly perfect unison. See what they can do when they're not stoned?

"You'll see."

Silence

"Your brother's a moron." Rafiki says to Harry, annoyed by the silence.

"Your sister's a whore," Harry replies, with fond memories in mind. "And he's not my brother."

"My sister's not a whore!" Rafiki yelled at Harry with indignation.

"She was last night," Harry responded simply. Rafiki geared up to argue when something dawned on him.

"That's how she paid me back that galleon I lent her…" Rafiki said, more to himself than the others. Draco had not been paying attention. He was just trying to think up ways of getting out of Lothar's class.

"Hey guys! We should go down to Hogsmeade and grab some firewhiskey!" Draco said, having only come up with what to do, not how to do it.

"Can't. Lothar would have my ass. He has some dumb ass shit he wants me to do," Harry answered, slightly ashamed that the teacher had enough control over him to make him attend pointless classes.

"Fuck you," Draco said, upset that he had to actually attend a class today. Suddenly, they turned the corner and Lothar appeared.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER! Have you even begun the task that you were supposed to have completed last month!?" Lothar yelled while racing down the corridor towards them.

"Nope," Harry answered calmly, as he had every few days for the last month.

"Fine. Then bloody do it right now! Rather than the last time I told you to work on it with which, I believe, YOU SPENT THE ENTIRE PERIOD PERFECTING YOUR ORAGAMI DUCKS!!"

"What, sir would you like one?" Harry said, entirely expecting this outburst.

"As a matter of fact I would Potter! You very well know of my duck collection and it would make an excellent addition! Now, down to business. I WANT THE TASK DONE BY FRIDAY AND THE DUCK DONE BY MONDAY! Do you understand?" Lothar finished sweetly and he began to walk to his classroom.

"So I get the weekend off, eh?" Harry said, in a very random Canadian accent. Harry went to do his work and Draco and Rafiki fallowed.

"Draco! Rafiki! You are not going to be missing my class today!" Lothar yelled as he whipped out his wand and twirled it a little. Without a word the two boys were floating next to him and moving as Lothar walked. Lothar had invented the spell just for them.

"It's _king_ Rafiki…" Rafiki mumbled as he bounced alongside the professor. Although Rafiki was King, he continued to remain at Hogwarts for unknown reasons- beyond assuming he and Potter were having some kind of love affair. That rumor was encouraged when neither one of them was willing to admit or deny it. Not that anyone had gotten the guts to simply ask them.

Since third year, Lothar and Harry had stopped having 'lessons' and Harry began getting 'tasks'. Draco and Rafiki had spent most of the year trying to find out about the tasks, but both Harry and Lothar were about as talkative as someone who is mute, deaf, blind and dumb. Either way, since Harry never bothered to do it, it couldn't matter enough for either of them to give a crap.

A/N: I'm really sorry that this took so long. Oh, and I know that it was really random to suddenly jump to fourth year, but I am having a lot of trouble writing about eleven year olds because I frankly know nothing about them except for most of the time they have sticky hands. Fourth years are easier to work with. Sorry about the randomness!


End file.
